Family caregiving is on the rise, and many family caregivers are also employed. AARP estimates that of the nearly 53 million Americans who are caregivers, 73% are juggling both working and caregiving. For some, caregiving can feel like a second unpaid job.

Many caregivers want to work and need to work. Employers are beginning to recognize the need to support family caregivers.

While working full time as a school psychologist, I was also raising two children and managing the care of my parents, both of whom had a form of dementia. Working with my employer to navigate trips to the emergency department or attend doctor visits for a child or a parent eased the strain I felt at work. When the time came, I took advantage of time away under the Family Medical Leave Act to care for my mother at the end of her life. Clear communication, along with enhanced time and project management strategies were critical to my well-being as a caregiver.

Supporting family caregivers can benefit employers, as well. Family caregivers grow in skills such as problem-solving, time management, conflict management and multi-tasking which can be valuable in the workplace. Family caregivers who are supported by their companies often prove to be loyal and enthusiastic employees who boost retention rates, which can be attractive in recruiting new employees.

There are some challenges, however. Much of the difficulty in how to support family caregivers at work stems from the fact that many employees do not disclose that they are caregivers. Therefore the true numbers are difficult to know.

In addition, employers are prohibited by federal law to inquire about your home life. They cannot ask you to identify who is in your home or who you may care for, or to inquire about any medical needs you have or anyone in your family may have. Therefore, disclosing this information is always the choice of the employee.

Talking with a manager about life outside the workplace may feel risky. What sort of response will I get? Will my manager understand or can they relate?

Some employees may feel vulnerable about disclosing that they are caregivers for fear of an increase in being observed in terms of productivity or being passed over for promotions or other career opportunities. It is important to feel safe in having these discussions, therefore, you might consider:

• If part of a union, consult a union representative for information and support
• Consult a human resources manager prior to talking with your direct supervisor
• Be prepared to discuss how you will manage your workload, given support and accommodations

So, if you are a family caregiver and you need support from your workplace, how do you go about disclosing this information, who do you talk to, and what can you ask for?

Step One

Think about what matters to you

Why is it important to talk to someone at your workplace for support or accommodations?

• You might want to share your caregiver status to increase awareness in your workplace. There are likely others who could use support and accommodations.
• You might anticipate an upcoming need for time away from work and want to be proactive about your absence.

What matters to you and what do you want to say to your employer?

• Try finishing this sentence: What matters to me at work right now, as a family caregiver, is __________.

Step Two

As you plan your talk, keep in mind:

Do you envision yourself in this company or position after caregiving responsibilities have eased or ceased?

How does having this position help you right now?

• Emotionally?
• Financially?

Next, think about who to talk to:

• HR staff member
• Direct manager
• Team leader
• DEI liaison
• Union representative
• Co-worker

Step Three

Then, plan for a good time to talk.

• Request a check-in meeting with a manager
• Schedule a meeting at an optimal time for your manager, e.g. beginning of the day, end of the day
• Be mindful of time sensitive projects at the company so that you have your manager’s full attention.
• Clarify if this meeting is in person or virtual

Prepare an opening line. Try,

• “I want to talk about some family responsibilities I have at this time and how I can work with the company to continue doing a good job here while I have these other things on my mind.”
• “I want to talk about some temporary support I need at work right now.”

Share what matters.

What specific supports would help you (and other caregiving employees) at this time?

• Need for understanding of the intense emotional load
• Need for awareness that keeping a job boosts morale
• Recognition that caregiving is often temporary but intense
• Employee resource groups (ERGs) or affinity groups
• Lunch talks/support groups
• Remote work or hybrid opportunities
• Job sharing
• Flexible work schedule
• Ability to make personal calls at work during lunch or breaks
• Ability to periodically attend virtual meetings with your person’s care team
• Temporary reduction in work hours as needed

Share what you may need in a crisis.

• Ability to make calls in an emergency
• Ability to leave in an emergency
• Ability to take work projects home to complete, if possible

Step Four

Ask questions

The Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) is a federal law that applies to all public agencies, all public and private elementary and secondary schools, and private sector companies with 50 or more employees.

It guarantees:

• Up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave (can be taken intermittently or all at once)
• Continuation of health insurance
• The right to return to the same position, or an equivalent position
• For military families, up to 26 weeks of leave within a 12-month period to care for an eligible service member
• The right to pay increases that occurred during the leave

You might ask:

• How is FMLA managed at my company?
  • Is this paid? (Some companies provide paid leave)
  • If I take FMLA intermittently – split up the federally guaranteed 12 weeks into several leaves – how will that be tracked?
• What does this company provide in terms of support?

Some companies offer employee-led, voluntary groups to support employees who have a particular need or identity, either virtually or in person, such as:

• Employee resource groups (ERGs): ERGs are voluntary, employee-led groups within a company that are based on shared interests, identities, or life experiences. For example, caregivers, parents, age group, disability, military families, etc.
• Affinity groups: Similar to ERGs, affinity groups are often formed as safe spaces for people who identify with an underrepresented group, such as gender, race, or ethnicity.
• Community resource materials, such as periodic lunch talks with community groups who provide services.

Asking your employer for what you need is an important part of caring for your person — and for yourself.

Christy is a Licensed Educational Psychologist, author, speaker and coach. Her book, “Building a Legacy of Love: Thriving in the Sandwich Generation” recounts her journey as a working mother of two who managed the care of her parents, both of whom had dementia. Combining her lived experience with her professional expertise in human development, she delivers keynotes, content, workshops and coaching to support families. Christy has a master’s degree in counseling psychology, and credentials in both education and school psychology.

www.christyyates.com