Itineraries: Once or twice when we heard about a relative or friend who was comatose or on a feeding tube, she would say, “If I’m like that, pull the plug.” But, of course, when the time came there was no plug. In my mom’s last years of life, she was no longer able to decide what she wanted for dinner, let alone what she wanted for medical treatment. So the decisions fell to me. Another bone marrow biopsy? A spinal tap? Pain treatment? Antibiotics? I was faced with cascading decisions for which I was wholly unprepared. After all the years I had written about these issues, I was still blindsided by the inevitable.