The Huffington Post: Few of us die in our own beds now. Modern medicine keeps many of us living longer, and then some of us die by inches, in an ICU or on a ventilator, sedated or in excruciating pain, while others fade slowly with Alzheimer’s disease or other dementias. When my mother died 15 years ago, after much unnecessary suffering, I determined to keep her fate from becoming mine. Mom was an extremely healthy and active woman who, until age 85, had few medical problems besides arthritis. In her mid-80s she displayed some memory loss, though nothing that inhibited her lifestyle. I suspected she was developing Alzheimer’s, as her brother had, but that she had many active years left. She also had a heart valve that needed replacing or she’d face serious restrictions of her daily activities, along with an increased likelihood of a heart attack.