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Talking before it’s too late

By Algia
Posted on

I had the conversation with my spouse.

He talked with each of the grandchildren about his end of life and helped prepare each of them in their own special way.
I’ll introduce myself as Algia and my husband as David. My husband was diagnosed with Metastatic Colon Cancer with metasteses to the liver and lung in April 1998. And I was diagnosed with Breast cancer in September 1998. After the shock, the surgeries, and aggressive treatments for both of us, we listened to our doctor and did as he suggested. The treatment plans were set in motion for that winter.

Living with cancer calls for learning how to live completely over again. A person learns how to really prioritize the important things in life. We placed our lives in God’s care totally to guide us and with the help of family and friends, we began to climb out of the valley we’d found ourselves in. It was a long and hard struggle. We knew I would survive, and the cancer would take my husband eventually.

Eventually came 12 years later. He found the courage to face the outcome I think before I did. He talked with each of the grandchildren about his end of life and helped prepare each of them in their own special way. The time after the diagnosis allowed both of us to prepare ourselves spiritually, mentally, and physically for the future. We had our discussion a few months before his death. God gave us the time we needed to prepare for death. For that I will forever be grateful.

Death came in 2010, but the joy we received during those 12 years is ever present with me. David was at peace with his passing and I am at peace with my living. Personally, recovering and coping with my loss has been a rewarding experience because of we shared our end of life wishes. Having the time to share and prepare for my living alone has given me peace in my heart and an abundance of memories. Most people are not given the time to accept that death is near and to prepare for life after the loss of a spouse. We were truly blessed throughout the 12 years between the diagnosis and the end of life. I would always recommend the End of Life Discussions. It is a great part of the healing process after death has come.

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