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Conversation Would Have Helped with Brother’s Grief

By Suzanne
Posted on

I wish I had the conversation.

If my father had written health directives perhaps my brother would have had an easier time handling my father's death
My dad recently passed away. We never had the conversation with our parents and I doubt my mother and father ever had the conversation with each other. By the time it was really necessary my father had dementia. We let my mother make the decisions on medical care for my father. Luckily, my sister is a nurse and could give her advice and information when my mother asked for it. As siblings we all agreed that we would go along with what my mother decided so she would not have any regrets. However, my one brother now feels resentment towards the doctors. He feels more of an effort should have been made to give him nourishment via a feeding tube (my father could no longer swallow) even though my mother, after meeting, with the doctors decided there should be no more invasive treatments. If my father had written health directives perhaps my brother would have had an easier time handling my father’s death..My mother is 86 years old. Guess who I’ll be having the conversation with soon?!

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