After seeing my dad have a hard death because my mom and dad never really discussed what either of them wanted at the end of their lives, I decided that I needed to put into writing and also tell my family exactly what I want at the end of my life. My mom tried to make decisions that would allow her peace of mind by doing everything possible to keep my dad alive and she kept hope that he would recover even though it was apparent that he would not recover with any quality of life. Things kept getting worse and he did eventually die. My mother on the other hand had a very good death. She stayed active right up to the day of her death and died peacefully in her sleep without any indication that anything was wrong.
For me, I wanted to make it easy for everyone. I got a living will form from the chaplain at work. I filled out exactly what I would want and when it would be time to not pursue any further treatment. I talked to my husband first, then spoke with each of my 3 children and showed them my form and where I keep it. It was not very easy for them to hear me talk about my own death or that I had taken the time to think about it and even spell out what I want and what I don’t want. When the time comes I know that it will be a gift to them to know that they are doing the right thing and honoring my wishes. They won’t have to worry or feel bad because they weren’t sure what to do. Someday they will really feel the impact of doing such a thing and what a blessing and a gift it is for everyone.

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