Quantcast
Already registered? Log In »

Read Stories

submit your story »

Mr.

By David
Posted on

I had the conversation with my spouse.

We often had coffee table talks together about "what if" medical situations and always agreed that quality of life trumped quantity
My wife died at home in hospice 3 years ago. A year before that she wrote down her end of life requests that the end not be a burden and that everyone was to celebrate her life. She always emphasized that life after death was glorious as she recalled a near death experience from decades ago. After having major surgery, she never fully recovered and eventually made the decision for palliative care as the treatment got more painful and dramatic.

We often had coffee table talks together about “what if” medical situations and always agreed that quality of life trumped quantity. Even though I stood by her and honored her wishes, the emotional part of me felt a sense of helplessness, as she slowly slipped away. I didn’t feel angry or resentful, because we were doing what we agreed upon. But I certainly wasn’t happy while it happened. I guess the advantages of talking before it happened helped to sort though any feelings of selfishness that would have come into play during medical emergencies causing undue stress and cost to everyone.

I have since found another lady to be with and I had a coffee table talk with her. She has been open to the topic as her father died a few months ago. I believe that when I die, it really isn’t about me but about the emotional wellbeing of those I leave behind. The end of life conversation helps them with that.

submit your story »