You never really think about death until you need to. I started being a Hospice nurse in my early 30’s and haven’t stopped since. People ask how can you do that job? Don’t you cry? . I always answer Hell yes I cry , It is so rewarding to help someone die well that how I can do that job. We all die you can not get away from it . Why not do it well? As a new nurse in Hospice I struggled , I cried and cried as a season nurse I understand and persevere.
One day you are faced with your own mortality and the fact that decisions need to be made. Is it easier as a Hospice nurse? Maybe or maybe not .Nobody really knows that answer. My greatest part of my life was being there for that someone who was dying. The biggest question Is how do you say goodbye to that person you love. It is never goodbye it is I love you.
The day came that I needed to be that person to talk with my children , I always was the supporter , the guide to the talk , the answer person.
Talk about role reversal. I was in my late 40’s and I had a heart attack and I needed intervention. The talk was given through the tears and the fears of death I was able to help my children be part of my decision. Any life worth living need to be a life well done. We prepare for the future knowing that I will not see my grandchildren grow and see all of them be born. We live in the now and in the moment that is what is important. I feel so blessed that I was a part of so many wonderful people lives as they prepared for their own journey. Never realizing that it was them that prepared me for my own journey. The courage to face your own death and help prepare your loved ones that a hero in the making . I never need to worry my children don’t know my wishes . We made our decisions together .